let’s be friends with benefits. the benefits? you get to be friends with me
1 day ago with 90,930 notes
mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
1 day ago with 33,090 notes
I WAS TRYING TO TAKE A PHOTO WITH MY BIRD AND THEN IT JUST STARTED HAVING LIKE A PANIC ATTACK AND LIKE LASHED OUT OMF I CANT BREATHE
accidentally being called your sibling’s name by your own parent
accidentally being called your pets name by your own parent
Accidentally being called your parents name by your pet
Called being accidentally your pets parents by your name
3 days ago with 47,956 notes
"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive."
Josephine Hart (via quote-book)
3 days ago with 41,511 notes
If band members ruined your life and you know it clap your hands.
His shirt says it all.
3 days ago with 52,365 notes
